Some thoughts..

One thing I understand is:

Christ has saved me from myself.  This is always how I’ve understood my salvation.  I understand that what happened on the cross that day gave way for true life, hope and purpose.  It saved me from the evil one who seeks to kill, steal and destroy. There is power in Jesus’ name. 

One thing I’m seeing is:

People of the spirit are just little pieces of Him walking around with skin on. God speaks to us through His word but He also uses the people around us.  And what about those times when I’ve felt I have nothing to offer?  That there is nothing in me that is capable of returning the love and grace that I’ve been shown.  I can only pray that God will be able to use what I’ve walked through for His glory someday.  We’ve all felt pain.  We’ve all dealt with things that we wouldn’t wish on anyone else.  But to get to use those lessons to spur one another on towards freedom from darkenss? Yes. That is it.  That makes it all worthwhile.  We are in this human thing together.

One thing I’m learning is:

We must be careful on where our worth is placed.  I believe sometimes we leave it places that we didn’t know we left it, and then when the boat is rocked and our worth falls from that place, we crumble.

In the end:

…it comes back to identity.  Every day, we are one step closer to knowing the depth of His love for us. I pray that is the case.

Questions I have:

Maybe understanding our identity is just part of the journey to sanctification.  Maybe it’s not something that clicks one day or maybe it is. Maybe it’s different for everyone.  I am starting to believe that if I truly lived as if I understood who God says I am, things would look different in my life. Props to the folks who look like they have it together.  I don’t believe that I’ve looked like that a day in my life.  Maybe it’s ok to be an open book.  I find that my problem is that I stay on chapter 2 of my open book.  It’s hard for me to step forward into the unknown.  Am I really one of those folks that sits in darkness just because the darkness is familiar?  What does trust really look like then? There comes a time when faith does require action and I feel l sit on the fence of that.

What this is:

I know I know. What is this, right? True confessions of the bookkeeper?  But these are the thoughts I have in this season of life.  And I must believe that it is a season.  In the words of a sweet coworker, I will look back on this time in my life and laugh because I will be able to see then what God was up to.  Man, I hope so.  Until then….. I’m pressing on and pressing in with the help of some wonderful friends and family.  I know it’s worth it.  I believe it’s worth it. HE is worth it.

Lauri Mehaffey, Bookkeeper