Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A meeting...

Once again, I was granted the privilege of having a front row seat for one of God’s miracles. It was a meeting. A meeting where a scared, but brave resolved birth mother sat waiting. She was soon to meet the blessed prospective adoptive couple that she had chosen. This birth mother had languished over several profile books in which prospective parents laid themselves bear to her. With a sweet peace she was led to choose one particular couple. The couple that she felt God leading her to…..the couple that something in her soul resonated with…….the couple that would parent the child she would never be able to. ….the couple that would tuck her little one into bed each night……..the couple that would help to shape the character of her little one…..the couple who would provide financially for her little one……the couple who would help lead this little one to love the Savior. Hers is not an easy choice but she feels conviction and a quiet confidence that it is the best choice for her little one given her circumstances. There is pain.

In this case, the couple had been married for a few years before deciding it was time to begin their family. As they began dreaming of pink and blue, infertility became their reality instead. One year led to seven and included countless trips to specialist with an untold number of medications, charts, injections, and insemination. A baby bed sits empty and is eventually packed away. There is pain.

Then, this couple heard God’s whisper and adoption became the choice they realized that was intended for them all along. While this couple was waiting to be chosen by a woman, they attempted to visualize what she would be like. They pictured her as a woman who must have found herself in a very hard place……a woman who chose life for her little one, a woman who is able to think of the welfare of her little one over her own……a woman who is able to sacrifice. This couple remembers the pain that they have endured in their journey and realize that this woman has been enduring immense pain in her own journey. They are acutely aware of the fact that their happiest moment, the moment when they become a parent, will be her saddest moment. They get it.

This is what is brought to these birth parents/adoptive parents meetings. Both parties in some form or fashion are anxious about this meeting and just plain scared to death to meet! Each one would rather observe the other behind a two-way mirror instead of this meeting. But they come….. this child is that important to them.

As soon as the adoptive couple enters the room it is obvious that both the birth mother and adoptive mother are wearing the same color shirts and even both wearing very similar style clothing. With the adoptive couple’s social worker and the birth mother counselor helping to move the conversation along, it is discovered that there are “uncanny similarities” in a variety of areas. The birth father is an avid fisherman and so is the birth mother’s father. Both the birth mother and the adoptive mother share a love and obsession of scary movies. All three of them love the outdoors and are Auburn fans as well. They even find out that the name of the couple’s dog was the same name of the beloved dog the birth mother had for fifteen years before it died. God didn’t have to expose those things….He didn’t have to reveal how those “little similarities” that may seem insignificant to other people but to each person here it served as a sweet confirmation. A confirmation that this union…this meeting…this forever bond…was good and right. It was God-ordained. A miracle.

As God continues to unpeel the layers of each, the birth mother and the couple are soon conversing like dear friends. They are able to share their hearts. They share their desires for this child. The birth mother is able to tell the couple just what she would like for them to share with her child when he is older. The couple is able to tell the birth mother that they would love for her to continue her college education and obtain that degree she was pursuing before the pregnancy. They want her to be proud of who she is and how God has gifted her. They promise to share all that with their son. Both parties agree to continue their relationship through photos and letters. Each is aware they may realize that they forgot to share something important with the other so they are grateful to be able to communicate in the years to come. Forever blended for the sake of a precious baby.

A miracle.

As an observer of God’s miracle, of God’s forever blending this adoptive couple with their birth mother I am blown away. Our God is so good…………so faithful…….so full of grace and mercy……….so SOVEREIGN!

Renee Griffin
Domestic Social Worker

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