Friday, September 3, 2010

How One Day Can Change a Life

I did not know how much this day would change my life. Even after I went to sleep that night, I did not know how much it impacted me. But around 6 years later, this day would give me the strength to do something that I didn't know I had the strength to do. One day when I was 18 I walked into the kitchen, and my mom tells me she needed to tell me something. She proceeded to tell me that Lifeline called to tell her that my Birth Mother had contacted them and updated her contact information along with asked how I was doing. There are a few things that are vitally important about this: first, as an adopted child, it was good to hear that she was thinking of me. Second, my parents did not hide this information from me. They freely told me and shared with me, we talked about it. As adoptive parents my parents did a fantastic job of openness with me being adopted. There was no shame, awkwardness, or hiding in who I was and where I came from. Also a lot of adoptive parents probably wonder, will my adoptive child think about my birth mother all the time, feel like there is a piece missing, or feel like they do not belong. A lot of these questions only the adoptive parents themselves can help answer. How do you present the situation? How do you present your child being adopted to both others and the child herself? How do you talk about the birth mother? The person who sacrificed so that you could become parents? Adoptive parents need to have the security in the family that God brought together, to be open and transparent with their child. So the child can be open and transparent back. Growing up I prayed for my birth mother on a regular bases. I always knew she loved me that was never a question. My security in knowing this came from my parents’ security in talking to me about being adopted.

Two years ago (in 18 days) I walked into a room. Sitting in this room was a lady with the same eyes as me, the same nose as me, the same mannerisms, and the same love of Mexican food. Two years ago I met my birth mother, Tara. And I would not have had the strength to start the reunion process with out the conversation I had with my mom so many years ago. So, thank you mom and dad. Thank you for being secure in our relationship. You knew that God brought us together. And I was never afraid to talk to you about anything. And thank you Tara, for fighting your nerves and calling Lifeline, now 9 years ago to update your info. Thank you for the sacrifice you made 26 years ago. Thank you for loving me. And thank you for the relationship that we are building.

Twenty six years ago (in nineteen days) I was born. 26 years ago you made the greatest sacrifice of your life, all while making 2 parents dreams come true. Twenty six years later, I hope my life is all that you wanted, all that you dreamed it would be. A birth mother is never forgotten. Her sacrifice is appreciated and thought of every day.

Marie Collier
Administrative Assistant

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